Take a Breath and Stop Before You Fall

One human emotions I hate much in this world is falling. Why? because people look crazy, act crazy and they suck when they fall. I hate to lose myself on falling in love that is the reason I avoid to fall and push people away when I started to think I like them. I have regrets once, regrets that make me think maybe I should change myself but I comeback to my old self thinking I made the right choice to push people away and save my self from the adversity of falling in love. Because the ubiquity of the person will kill you, lose yourself and end you up losing the process. I love myself more, that is the mere reason I need to stop this craziness and be back to my usual self, no assumptions, no hoping and no believing that someone might catch you when you started to fall for them. This is the reality of life that I believe and saved me from the turmoil of reality.

Behind Those Walls

Many would see me, as this and that. Some would say I am mean and playful when it comes to love. They call me numb and insensitive, sometimes I am the clingy and friendly type. I always show different faces I dealing with someone. But behind those walls that I build around people, the real me is different. Yes! I play and I said mean things but I mean everything. I push people away, and I pretend I don’ like someone and everything I feel is happy. I am that, and nothing could change the way I handle things and complications. But inside me, behind the walls I build around people is a different version of me, the girl who wishes love was real, the girl who wishes someday her prince will come, a girl who believes in true and real essence of love. That is the girl behind the tough and strong self I portray. ‘Cause behind the strong self is the weak and lonely girl, afraid to feel pain and afraid to commit because love may bring happiness to those lucky ones who finally find their way to each other, but it also brings hurt,guilt,shame and pain to those who wrongly fall in the wrong person. That is why I will never take love seriously, not playing games with anybody not hurting myself nor hurting someone. This is how I choose life, to live happily even without a other half.