What it takes to wait (editing stage)

I once have this unrequited love somehow to one person close to me, he once love me too but I turned him down and the moment I realize I think I feel the same way that person has been hurt so badly by me. I was his first love I guess and the cliche I’ve been everyone’s first love and I am this heartless and playful manipulative one who never think of love as something solid. And yes, before I realize it was too late and I can’t take my pride of from turning him down…luckily that person stayed by my side even he hates me and told me he won’t trust his feelings on me again, that guy never left. I’ve been in relationships and he is so, yet we still have those moments of calmness within each other we I never felt awkward telling him my problems and long dramas. I am never brave nor strong as anyone sees me, he is the only person who I manage to take my mask off…he is the only person who knows how skeptic I get, how weak and dramatic I get but it never bothers me. All along having him is worth it than having a boyfriend. He is all I need that’s what I thought yet I never manage to tell him what I feel for him. Why? because I am confuse, even it’s clear I still am not sure if it’s romantic love and I won’t bet our friendship to risky and awkward situation on confessing my confuse feelings.  He was like the moon to me, that best guy friend who never left my side during those dark cold nights…that person who is there even dark days of my life. He’s totally my moon who shines in my darkest our that cold guy yet never leaves your side that’s him. We made a deal, we will be together if we graduate from college and still we both stay single. Yes, we graduated and both are single…something between us blooms like each of us is waiting for a certain chance to make the moment perfect that’s what I felt before. Yet I am not sure. Not sure if I am willing to let go of that certain person and go to the next line. I waited. I never confess. Then someone finally came along, that someone was a bright sunshine into my life…he brought another and bright new perspective into me. He is warm and even distance goes between I can still feel how warm he can be. That person was definitely the sun and even brighter than the sun that’s him. And for that short period of time knowing the sun I fall for him and that was a sure thing no doubts and no hesitation, it was clear as the bright blue sky. Being with him is the best thing ever happened into me and I am glad I waited for the moon, if I never waited and become impulsive of what I feel maybe I won’t able to meet the sun and I won’t be this happy right now. So for young people out there…just wait for the right moment, wait till fate leads you to someone, somehow we will meet several people along the way who will touch our hearts, people who seems perfectly in us people we might think as of the one. But believe me, trust your feelings, the right guy will come and you just know actually both know you are for each other. You’ll definitely feel it somehow.

To The Best Friend I Once Have Before

Things between us might have change a lot now, I know I am the main reason why things between us changes. From the start I am the one who made a huge mistake, I am the one who’s been a coward and O am the one who’s been indecisive yet you are there all  along, your presence never makes me lonely…not even a single bit and I am grateful to have a special person like you. Lucky me. Not having a relationship when everyone has never concerns me, believe me all those years I am contented of having you..only you. Thank you for all the long years of being with me, the times when I was down and lonely, those moments you encourage and protect me from choosing a boyfriend I appreciate and I will cherish them all. I know I am not the most special person in your life right now and you are not in me too. Things has greatly change we both have our special people to cherish and I understand because I am the first one to let go. Thank you so much for everything for being my bestfriend for a very lone time for being my emotional pillow and my energy…being my inspiration and being there to guide me for choosing the right guy. You will always be my special friend and that won’t change. Thank you for letting me hold into you until I found him. Thank you for everything even now.

Happy Birthday 🙂