I always thought that we are always meant to be. That I am the Elena and you’re the Steffan (vampire diaries) in my life and whatever things go we will always end up into each other’s arms. I always thought we ‘re like Snow and Charming (once upon a time) that tested by times and forever and always will find a way to have our happy ending. Then it come into my mind maybe we are Candice and Gail (hunger games) best of friends and turn into lovers who will cherish each other. But then I come to my senses lately of my overthinking and illusion, because we could never be like them. Love and friendship won’t come in package for the two of us. For almost 4 years I know I am in love with you, maybe that feeling I have for you are the reasons why I fail for my past relationship but I don’t blame you for that…you have no fault it just happened you are that man my heart shouts. Well, for the 4 years of self-torture of waiting for my unrequited love to be paid off was worth it enough to give up wanting you. I know you are the biggest regret in my life; not wanting you back then was the biggest mistake of my life. Maybe it was the most coward thing I did back then. The moment you tell me you love me back in high school was the happiest and most frightening moments on my life. I feel like cloud 9 and the sun shines bright above us, yet the brightness of the sun covers my sight and I don’t like it. I was rational and logical back then love the one who loves you, never invest much feelings, never love someone more than you love yourself, and don’t care too much are those things I have taught you when it comes to love and I guess I failed as your love mentor back then because I fall for you much deeply as you fall for me once but for me it’s too late to realize that because you can never love me the way you love me before. After I cause emotional pain on turning you down I never thought of you being a good follower you listen to the words I’ve taught you when it comes to love. You were that lazy so I never thought of you making time to build walls on me. Maybe pain makes people change and I am your biggest lesson. Just then that I realize we are like Allison and Scott (teen wolf) both first love but we are not meant to be and I am just trying to accept that fact little by little. At least we still saved that friendship. At least I get able to stay by your side not as your love but as your friend. So this time I am holding on a white flag saying I give up wishing for love but I won’t give up on our friendship.