I don’t trust peoples’words that’s why if I trust someone it’s heartbreaking for me if they disappoint me. I’m used of living alone, I am used of believing I don’t need someone to love and depend on..I am my own independent and strong woman. Yet I become vulnerable because I fall from something I avoided for too long. Karma maybe, I hurt many people, people who gave me the love and affection and I rejected them all. Now I am emotionally drained from someone I loved. Take it from a child who never feel being loved her whole life. Life for me is hard, people may see I’m living a good life but I’m just living in an empty shell my life is empty . Sometimes I wished I would disappear.
I’m still trapped in the darkest corner of my life. Don’t even know, don’t even get why that darkness keeps pulling me towards into it. Do I deserve to be there? or can I reach the light shinning right in front of me? Obviously I wanted to break free, wanted to break this darkness in me…yet I can’t, can’t easily bid farewell to the darkness that gives me loneliness yet saves me from pain. Will I embrace numbness or will I experience variety of emotions? I don’t know. I want to.